Inbreeding
Door: Thessa
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22 Juli 2008 | Nigeria, Suleja
One oyibo to the other: “I have met this fantastic man! We have been going out for some time now, and he is just so interesting, caring, interested in me and open minded –it’s just fantastic! I am so happy to have found him!”
“Is he Nigerian?”
“Uh, yes. Why?”
“oh...”
And it’s all in this “oh”. Despite the wonderful experience of the first oyibo, the fact that this ‘fantastic’ man is Nigerian clearly indicates that this is Not True and at one stage or another, the oyibo-in-love will find this out. After all, ALL Nigerian men are to be avoided. (Of course, Nigerian women needn’t be avoided. They make excellent, young and attractive, second wives. It’s pathetic, everyone agrees, to see an old ugly oyibo with a beautiful young Nigerian, but no, what else can you expect –they are men...) It is one of the signs of ‘integration’. The poor oyibo who loves this Nigerian is ‘naive’ or just ‘stupid’, but that she might have met a fantastic man who truly loves her, is simply not an option.
I always have to laugh over the Integration Debate in Europe (and yes, it’s written with capitals these days) and the anger that “those immigrants” stick to their own culture. I have learned that it’s not about integration at all: it’s about the dominant culture that has to be obeyed, it’s about assimilation. “The West” is the dominator and thus everyone should adapt to “us”. We can go abroad on holiday, eat our own food (“you can never trust the local food”) and walk half-naked into mosques, but an immigrant in our own country HAS to abide by our rules.
In Nigeria there is not much integration between oyibos and Nigerians. With of course the many exceptions, but in general... In Lagos it’s much worse than in Abuja or in other parts I have been. Perhaps because people here are a bit rough due to living in this ant heap, or because of the security situation. The other day I was cruising on an okada to meet up with a friend. When I was on the bike I got many hilarious comments –and shocked reactions from other oyibos who probably thought I was suicidal. Fair enough. However, when I met up with that friend (not even a lover), I got many weary looks and even looks of disapproval. Because my friend was Nigerian?
In Nigeria you have people EVERYWHERE since about 20% of the sub-Saharan population happens to live in this country. It’s quite a challenge to try and avoid all those people, but quite a lot of the oyibos succeed with their fenced houses and cars with tinted windows. And these people would then tell me “I have to go home every 3 months or so, or else I would go mad here!”
–but possibly they have gone mad long ago due to the inbreeding in their own circles?
“Is he Nigerian?”
“Uh, yes. Why?”
“oh...”
And it’s all in this “oh”. Despite the wonderful experience of the first oyibo, the fact that this ‘fantastic’ man is Nigerian clearly indicates that this is Not True and at one stage or another, the oyibo-in-love will find this out. After all, ALL Nigerian men are to be avoided. (Of course, Nigerian women needn’t be avoided. They make excellent, young and attractive, second wives. It’s pathetic, everyone agrees, to see an old ugly oyibo with a beautiful young Nigerian, but no, what else can you expect –they are men...) It is one of the signs of ‘integration’. The poor oyibo who loves this Nigerian is ‘naive’ or just ‘stupid’, but that she might have met a fantastic man who truly loves her, is simply not an option.
I always have to laugh over the Integration Debate in Europe (and yes, it’s written with capitals these days) and the anger that “those immigrants” stick to their own culture. I have learned that it’s not about integration at all: it’s about the dominant culture that has to be obeyed, it’s about assimilation. “The West” is the dominator and thus everyone should adapt to “us”. We can go abroad on holiday, eat our own food (“you can never trust the local food”) and walk half-naked into mosques, but an immigrant in our own country HAS to abide by our rules.
In Nigeria there is not much integration between oyibos and Nigerians. With of course the many exceptions, but in general... In Lagos it’s much worse than in Abuja or in other parts I have been. Perhaps because people here are a bit rough due to living in this ant heap, or because of the security situation. The other day I was cruising on an okada to meet up with a friend. When I was on the bike I got many hilarious comments –and shocked reactions from other oyibos who probably thought I was suicidal. Fair enough. However, when I met up with that friend (not even a lover), I got many weary looks and even looks of disapproval. Because my friend was Nigerian?
In Nigeria you have people EVERYWHERE since about 20% of the sub-Saharan population happens to live in this country. It’s quite a challenge to try and avoid all those people, but quite a lot of the oyibos succeed with their fenced houses and cars with tinted windows. And these people would then tell me “I have to go home every 3 months or so, or else I would go mad here!”
–but possibly they have gone mad long ago due to the inbreeding in their own circles?
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Je kunt nu ook Smileys gebruiken. Via de toolbar, toetsenbord of door eerst : te typen en dan een woord bijvoorbeeld :smiley
